“FIFTH WHEEL”
I have a phone that tapes my calls,
From near or far away.
My VCR records the shows
I'd miss from day to day.
While Uncle  Sam delivers mail,
By folks I've yet to see,
My washer launders all my  duds
Quite automatic'lly.
The microwave cooks ev'ry meal
All by itself, on time.
Electric guards are standing by,
In case of smoke or  crime.
The water heater is,
To a remarkable degree,
Just like my radio that starts
So independently.
The heat, the lights, refrigerator
Work while I'm not there.
The sprinkler-system knows its job,
Relieving me of  care.
Can't help but feel, from time to time,
As through the streets I roam,
So useless nowadays since I'm
Not needed there at home.